Here we go 2013
Well we closed last year off with a BANG!...
Well i think a horrific fiery CRASH
Yea that might be a little more accurate!
I'm beginning this year anew like a phoenix rising form the ashes... lol oh how that symbol rings so true to me. and yet i think to my self... how many times must we do this? how often must you crash and burn leaving yourself to pick you up and put the pieces that are left back together again?
All this shows is the passion i have for the things that i truly believe in. I will go head first into the deep end with all conviction... if i did anything less it would be me. when i go in... i go in hard!!!! but doing this runs a huge risk, a risk of failure, being disappointed, let down, and crushed. those things don't seem so bad when the goal your trying to reach seems worth it. but afterwards it the sting of it all hurts TWICE as much.
I definitely believe its better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all.
And this is why i have to go though this so often.
All of this gives me strength and knowledge maybe that's why i and so rough and complicated... I've been thorough a lot in my life and i know what i want and don't mind trying to get it.
Yea i am strong,,, I'm so thankful for that!!
My strength has helped me focus on myself and is builds a better me, redefining my goals.
What i want for me
What i expect from others
Where i want my life to go
How i want it to get there
Who i want to surround myself with
I started very simply with my body and health. going to the gym everyday and that has relieved so much stress and tension in my life.. you can see it inside and out.
Next i looked at my many different careers. what is bringing me the most joy, what am i missing and what is wasting my time? some of these answers were so simple and other took a little time to show their true colors.
I missed my friends and leather brothers-helped at events
I missed porn- got the body back -time to start again.
I missed dancing-auditioned for a dance group- landed the gig.
I missed teaching others-started helping friends in the gym.
I missed learning something new- started a new job with little experience in the field.
There were a few things wasting my time- they had to go.
The balance of happiness has been 90% restored in my life.
This month I will be competing for Los Angeles Leather... something i had dreamed of for 2 years and i missed out on so much of of title year going through the rough times. I know distance makes the heart grow fonder and having it again will be so sweet!
So in three months my life has seemed to get back on track and the pieces that were shattered are starting to smooth over into one solid piece again. it feels good.
My future is looking bright I'm optimistic and ready to take on the world.
LET'S GO 2013!!!